Sara's Wedding
July 31 - August 3 2014

• the original motivation for this road trip was to see my family in niagara-on-the-lake (NOTL) on the occasion of my niece sara's wedding - i don't get to see my family often, especially now that my parents are gone and i rarely get back to ottawa - once that motivation was secure i fleshed out the rest of the trip with a backlog of bucket list stuff
  
  
• i reserved a campsite at a nearly RV resort (Vine Ridge) for the wedding duration - there did'nt seem to be any other camping choices nearby - Vine Ridge turned out to be a dud except for one thing, a 1 acre pool which i used daily - the problems with the resort were many, expensive, bad WI-FI, crowded, noisy, especially on the august 1st long weekend - i usually camp in state parks or US forest service sites which are spacious, half the price, and in scenic locations - a crowd of young people at Vine Ridge insisted on playing AM radio all day during my stay consequently i didn't hang around the campsite - i was either swimming at the pool or at wedding events
  
  
• the first night i met my sister sharyn, husband denis, alix and nathan at an irish pub in NOTL - alix is my youngest niece and nathan her beau who has an amazing job in moon exploration - both alix & nathan are smart, accomplished young people with great futures - its good to see them getting a break in their brutal job market
  
  
• we adjourned from the noisy pub to a quiet wine bar near their B&B - people arrived during the evening, wilson and his wife arlene (i'm bad on name recall, forgive me if thats wrong) - i quite enjoyed wilson, an unusually gregarious chinese man, father of matt the groom - later in the evening sara and matt arrived
  
  
• at the risk of offending my other nieces i have to say sara is my favorite - for a couple of reasons - i've had a troubled relationship with my mother all my life - the usual bullshit offspring resentments i suspect - sara on the other hand, of all the people in the family, seemed to have an unconditional love for her grandmother, and grandfather too (an even bigger can of worms for me) - sara also made some effort to keep in touch with me over the years - she seems to experience things deeply and at such a young age - i was pretty choked up with emotion for the rest of the evening - sara gave me some home-made bug spray that smelled like perfume - perhaps the idea was that the bugs would be too busy swooning to bite - it smells fantastic
  
  
• the next day i lounged around the pool all day, heaven - that night there was a pre-wedding dinner - i arrived a bit late in my camping clothes to find everybody dressed to the nines, although in my defence i had put on a fresh T-shirt - my only hope is that they saw me as an eccentric uncle of the bride, which of course is exactly what i am - seated between my sister and wilson was ideal - later that evening, as more people arrived, including my other niece kristin, the essence of this wedding, and any wedding, hit home - the union of two tribes - now that is reason to celebrate - i passed on the scheduled ghost walk that night - my bad knee and sore lower back precluded too much standing and walking
  
  
• the next morning i met my sister for breakfast in NOTL and then spent some time in a riverside park with sharyn and nathan talking about his fascinating job assessing a moon landing competition - later that day was the actual wedding - a gorgeous outdoor setting in an orchard/vineyard - i had to elicit help to put on my loaner zebra tie for the event, i haven't owned or worn a tie in 40 years - i am not particularly eccentric compared to my friends, i'm thinking of you peter & veronica (the tie lenders) - i would have faded into the background had you been there - or more likely i was already invisible, laden with eccentric aspirations - you never really know how people perceive you
  
  
• one of the hilights of the event for me was seeing my maternal cousins darlene and leona - unfortunately another maternal cousin gloria could not attend due to the sudden illness of her son - i had not seen darlene since my dad's funeral 14 years ago and leona not since i was a teenager - darlene and leona are part of a quintrilogy of sister cousins, the craig family - i have such fond memories of visiting the craig family farm near fitzroy harbor in my youth - betty and glenda were closer to me in age so i knew them better - all the sisters had the ottawa valley accent, still do - leona in particular has aged well through some personal hardship - i spent most of the rest of the wedding reception with them
  
  
• denis dudley, father of sara, gave an eloquent talk at the wedding dinner (see video) - he's an interesting man, complicated, creative, not easily defined, a great spontaneous speaker - i'd heard that sara was betting he'd cry, he didn't, but made up for it with a very moving giving-away-his-daughter speech - the after-dinner band was too loud so i left early - alas i found out later i missed the slide show created by matt for the occasion
  
  
• the next day i bailed on the winery tour because of the lower back standing problems - that night there was a birthday dinner for denis, again he spoke eloquently on familial matters
  
  
• i gave matt & sara my wedding presents in the parking lot after the birthday dinner - i choked up badly giving sara a ring belonging to my mother, her grandmother - i had rehearsed eloquence explaining the reasons for giving it to her but instead blubbered incoherently - i think my sister has the same problem - i also gave matt and sara a western juniper mandolin i made in 2012 - whether they play it or not the intention was something to pass down to the lineage of this remarkable new family